


The Man I Used to Be

by 0_TheNonPoet_0



Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Flashbacks, Heavy drugs, Homophobic Language, M/M, Mental Illness, Origin Story, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-24
Updated: 2019-04-06
Packaged: 2019-11-29 06:19:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 8
Words: 6,488
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18219344
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/0_TheNonPoet_0/pseuds/0_TheNonPoet_0
Summary: While being held in custody, both Bruce and the Joker began to reflect on their life before they became who they are now. They’ll learn to regret some of the choices they have made.





	1. Same as Yesterday

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time posting here and I’m pretty frick fracking excited about it. This is being used as a way to practice and improve as a writer, if you see something I need to work on, let me know! Hope ya like it! - Poet

This sort of thing had a rhythm to it. Ask him why he blew up whatever fucking candy shop he didn’t like the color of, wait for him to make a pun about a man in a rubber suit, and get absolutely no where. It was always like this for Bruce. He wanted to get used to it, but it always got under his skin. He opened the door to the cell and sat down at the table. The Joker sat across from him, hands folded in silence. This was new, but Bruce doubted it would last. He rubbed his forehead before looking down at the report. Weapon of mass destruction, 5 killed, 34 injured. This looked pretty average for the Joker, modest even.

“I got to say I’m surprised with you. Blowing up a local mattress store is pretty small for someone with your taste.” 

“Oh you just can’t see the humor in it! A big boom with feathers flying out of the open roof! You’re just becoming an old prude!” The joker said, trying to hold back his giggles. The pun hasn’t come yet so that’s good.

“Personally, I don’t find 5 innocent people dead and 34 people seriously injured even close to amusing.” Bruce said flatly. 

“Only 5? That’s shocking, I thought I killed more. Oh well, beggars can’t be choosers.” He said almost disappointed with himself.

Bruce knew this was going no where and he just wanted it to end. He sighed and set the clipboard down. He began to stand up, planning to forget about tonight until the Joker inevitably escapes and he has to repeat this whole damn process.

“Wait! Leaving so soon? I though we finally getting somewhere. Ya know, finally open up about our selves.” he jabbed. “Come here, I have a secret for you.”

Every single voice in Bruce’s head told him to just leave him, but he couldn’t just ignore him. He walked out to the Joker and bent down to listen to him. He wasn’t scared though, the joker might be unpredictable, but he’s Batman and could have him tied up like a pretzel with his eyes shut. The Joker leaned up to Bruce to whisper into his ear. He grinned and connected his lips to Bruce’s. Bruce pulled back and pinned him to to wall by this throat. The Joker giggled the tighter his grip got.

“Happy anniversary, Batsy.” He coughed out through his giggles.


	2. Mr. Wayne

The whole facility was hectic at the news, Bruce Wayne was stopping by to check out the plant. Higher ups were barking orders while frantically cleaning anything that would even be considered untidy. 

Jack was trying to clean up his station and the other around him. Straighten up papers, clean up coffee stains, and make sure his coworkers are ready to be presented to Mr. Wayne. Jack stood back from his desk admiring his handy work. It didn’t look half bad!

He turned around to look at himself in the mirror. He sighed and adjusted his glasses. He didn’t look ugly, just normal which to Jack was worse. To Jack, at least if you’re ugly, people remember you more than they would if you look like everyone else. Gray eyes with thick brown glasses that circle them, and a dark brown undercut. Just too normal. 

He took off his glasses to clean them. He put them back on and started to walk over to his desk to wait for Mr. Wayne to move to his station during his tour of the chemical plant.

After an hour of drinking coffee and doodling on his notepad, Mr. Wayne finally came to his station. He felt his face flush at the sight of this man. Defined face, deep black hair, and a face so cold and stern he looked like a Roman statue. Jack looked down to hide his embarrassment from him, He was the type of man Jack had always imagined when he read those romance novels his neighbor threw out. He’s just too hot!

“Mr....Hanley? Lovely name.” Bruce said looking down at Jack’s ID. Jack tried and failed to control his blush. Even his voice sounds like someone who knows how to take control. 

“T-thank you sir...um...I’m the uh...head engineer of the plant. I design just about every technical aspect of this building.” Jack stuttered out, trying to avoid making eye contact with Mr. Wayne.

Bruce grinned down at him. He seemed to eye him up. What did he want?

“Wow, that’s pretty impressive for one man. Where did you get your degree?” He questioned with his smile growing wider the longer he looked at him.  
“Brown University, sir” he answered, shyly.

“Brown University? That’s one of the top schools in the country. Smart man.” He said. Jack felt his face get red as a cherry. He couldn’t help but drawn to this man. Smart, charming, and handsome as fuck! 

“Well, my time is up here, but take this.” He said as he hands Jack a business card. “I hope to see you again sometime.” He grins as he walks into the next room.

Jack’s heart was pounding in his chest. What did he mean by he wanted to see him again? Jack turned over the business.

(720) 667-2323 Call me- Bruce

Jack started to laugh. Mr. Wayne wants to call Jack. Mr. Wayne and young Jack Hanley. Not a bad ring to it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two chapters down!


	3. Questioning

Damn his grip is tight! The Joker can see his veins bulging out and his neck and face going blue. Batman tightened his grip with each chuckle he somehow managed to get out. Where did that memory come from? Could it have been from a story he read? Sounded like a cheap romantic book he randomly finds around his hideout. The biggest question to him is where they came from too. He’ll worry about it later, right now he had a pest to get off his neck.  
~

“Never do that again” Batman barks into his ear 

“What the hell do you mean?”.  
Batman loosened his grip slightly to allow the Joker to speak.

“Why my sweet dearest batsy, you couldn’t have forgotten! Our anniversary of the first time meeting each other! I can remember it like it was yesterday. A ruined apartment filled with blood and drugs. Best night I can remember.” the joker sang out.

Batman groaned in his mind. That was almost every Friday night for him. That night was different from many others, however. He remembers that night too well. Too well to be forgotten. Cocaine spilled across the small coffee table in front of the bloodsoaked sofa and claw marks on the walls. He closed his eyes trying to erase the image from his mind. He couldn’t deal with it right now.

“I just figured since I sadly had no gift, a simple kiss would suffice. Wouldn't you agree?” the Joker asked Bruce with a jabbing smile. Bruce remained silent and glared at him. He slowly set him down and took the metal chair the Joker was previously sitting in and pointed to it.

“Can’t we just get through the damn questioning for once?

“Well, since you asked so politely.” the joker said and took a seat. Bruce sighed in relief and took a seat too. He honestly didn’t think he would get this far with the questioning.

“Why did you blow up this building?”

“Why? I thought I made myself crystal clear, it was just a funny idea I had in my head. I mean, the old man owner of the shop did owe me overrrrr let’s say about 45,000 dollars. He refused to pay sooo… I made him pay for it in a way. But that was just a benefit.” he answered looking up at the ceiling smiling. 

Bruce would never show it, but some of the things the Joker said gave him chills. He often sat up thinking if he was born this way. It would make a lot of sense if that were the case.

“Let’s change it up this time! Let me ask the question this time!” The joker proposed. Bruce raised an eyebrow at him. What was he planning?

“Why?”

“Why not? I’m in the mood for having it both ways for a change. What could go wrong?” He asked. Everything is what Bruce screamed in his mind, but he’s curious as to where this will lead. The Joker had never asked this before so he must want to know something.

“Fine. Ask.”

“Oh goody! Let me think...OH! I get two questions since you always ask the big questions. What is your favorite candy?” he asked him with the type of cheer you would expect from a child.

“Black licorice” Bruce shot back.

“Typical, but what else should I expect. Let me think some more.” he sat in silence for what felt like an hour before finally speaking.

“How did you know the man in the bloody apartment all those years ago?”


	4. Why him?

Bruce sat at the phone for what felt like hours. Was he going to call? The man at the plant was so cute. Bruce felt his heart beat faster at the thought of him. He never got this flushed before when giving someone his number. His soft eyes warmed and filled Bruce with a giddiness he hadn’t felt in a long while. Just a matter of waiting now. The phone rang and he nearly knocked over the end table trying to answer it.

“Bruce Wayne,” he answered trying to sound less excited.

“Oh, it’s really you! Uh...it’s Jack Hanley, from the chemical plant. You gave me your number yesterday. I figured I’d give you a call.” he stuttered with a nervous giggle behind his voice. God, he’s just so cute!

“Oh yes! I had a question for you.” Bruce said

“Yes, anything!”

“How uh, would you like to grab something to eat with me on Friday night?” he asked. The line was silent. Was this a mistake? Did he act too fast? Should he hang up and forget this whole thing?

“Like...like a date?” Jack asked nervously

“Y-yeah, if you want to. I just want to get to know you more. If not, th-”

“I would love to!” Jack interrupted. Bruce smiled so wide his cheeks started to hurt. He felt like jumping around the phone.

“T-that’s amazing! I’ll see you on Friday! I’ll pick you up. Where do you live?” he asked

“I live in the red apartment building on Westwood drive. My apartment number is 20B.” Jack told him. Bruce wrote down the address on his arm.

“Okay! I’ll pick you up at 7.”

“Perfect, I’ll see you then, Bruce,” he said before hanging up. He put down the phone and ran to his closest. He needed to pick out what he was going to wear. He didn’t want to go full tuxedo but still dressy. This was going to be almost as hard as the phone call.

~

Jack ran straight to his cloeset and started trying on everything. Every outfit, every accessory, everything he could see. Only one outfit seemed to stand out, a simple white button up shirt and black dress pants. This would work. He stood in front of the mirror analyzing his face. 

What did Bruce see in him? He could have just about anyone he wants, and he asked him out. He felt like he was nothing. Not someone who deserved to be asked out by someone so hot as Bruce-fucking-Wayne.

“Nope, not right now,” he told himself walking to the bathroom.

He searched for the small bottle of pills he keeps in there. He found the bottle next to his toothbrush and he grabbed and unscrewed the cap. He counted out two pills before swallowing them. 

Damn Lithium always made his throat feel chalky. Was it 6:00 already? He walked into the kitchen to check the clock on the wall. 5:45. It was pretty close to 6:00 so Jack didn’t worry about it. He needed to stop taking his meds when he felt nervous instead of the time he needed to. Old habits die hard.

He walked back to his bed and picked up the novel “In the Arms of the Demon King” on his nightstand. Jack had a guilty pleasure of reading dollar store romance novels. He could barely focus on the page in front of him. He pictured himself in place of the blond woman and man on the cover with him and Bruce. He couldn’t help being a bit of a hopeless romantic. He couldn’t wait until Friday. He felt like this is a start of some grand story he would read about.


	5. King of Hearts

“No, that's not true! The waiter was just being nice.”

“He was totally checking you out. The creepy old man.” Bruce said through his giggles.

“Jealous much?” Jack jabbed. Bruce's face went hot. “Um…” “I’m joking! You’re too serious. It’s kinda cute seeing you jealous.” Jack chuckled. His laugh put butterflies in Bruce's stomach. Bruce laughed along with Jack.

Bruce pulled up to Jacks apartment with a sadness in his heart. The night was amazing and he didn’t want it to end so soon. He parked his car in front of the red building and unlocked the passenger side door. Jack went to open it but hesitated.

“Um...could you walk me up to my apartment? It’s not very safe here at night.” Jack shyly asked. Oh hell yes is what Bruce wanted to scream out. He cleared his throat before answering.

“Of course.” He got out of the car and walked to the passenger side to open the door for Jack.

Jack walked out smiling ear to ear. He was so beautiful when smiling. While walking into the building, Jack reached over and took Bruce’s hand and held it tight. Bruce looked over at Jack and simply smiled. They walked up the stairs never losing grip of each other's hand. Once they got to the right door, Jack turned to face Bruce, blushing madly.

“Thank you for taking me out tonight,” he murmured. Jack’s smile seemed to be stuck to his face.

“No no, thank you for accepting. I had an amazing time.” Bruce gushed “Would you like to do this again?

“Definitely!” Jack shouted a little too loudly. He looked down at his feet, face reddening.

Bruce laughed and went in for a hug. He moved his head back when he felt a pair of smooth lips on his. Jack covered his mouth and his eyes went teary.

“I-I’m so s-sorry! I didn’t mean to do that. I mean I kinda did, but I-” Jack said before Bruce cut him off with a kiss of his own.

Bruce was doing flips in his mind. His lips were soft and tasted like wine. He felt like he could get drunk off of the taste of his lips. Bruce put his hands on the side of Jack’s head. His skin was just as soft as his lips. Bruce licked Jack’s bottom lip to get him to open up. Jack flinched slightly before opening his lips to allow Bruce's tongue to enter. Their tounges moved across each other slowly. Jack ran his fingers through Bruce’s hair. Bruce wanted more, so much more, but he wasn’t going to go that far on the first date. He didn’t know how much more of this he can take before going back to his car hot and very much bothered.

While thinking when it would be best to pull out of the kiss, Jack bit his lip gently. A hot rush went through his body. He moaned slightly and moved his lips over Jack’s neck. Jack moaned when Bruce started biting and sucking his neck. His skin tasted sweet. Bruce finally pulled back panting. He examed Jacks' neck. Already turning a deep red.

“I… need to go. I don’t like doing things on the first date,” he explained. Jack looked slightly let down.

“I understand. How about a movie next Friday?” Jack proposed.

“I would love that,” Bruce said smiling at him. He kissed Jacks forehead before heading down the stairwell.

“I’ll see you soon, Jack.”

“See you soon, Bruce.”

~

Bruce stared blankly at the Joker. He really didn’t want to think of Jack right now. It’s not the right time.

“The person who lived in that apartment meant quite a lot to me,” he stated trying to keep his voice from quivering.

The Joker looked like he was in a world of his own. His eyes were far away from what was being talked about. He shook his head and look at Batman. He pouted and put his head in his hands.

“Aww, the emotionless bat can feel things. That’s odd.” The Joker whined. Bruce wanted to choke him so bad.

“My turn for a question. Why do you care if I knew the person who lived in that apartment?” he asked.

The Joker smiled and glared at him.

“Can’t I be curious about my favorite person in the whole city. Plus, before finding me, you were calling for someone. I can’t remember the name now.” he teased.

Bruce looked away. He felt his eyes get teary.

“I don’t expect you to know the exact names of all the people you kill.” Bruce spat. The Joker was taken aback by what Bruce said.

“For starters, I’m a gentleman; I do in fact remember the names of the people who I kill. And secondly, I didn’t kill whoever was in that apartment.” he retorted. Bruce stared at him. How could he have not done it?

“No?” Bruce asked. The Joker shook his head.

“No, I broke into that apartment and then you found me.” He said frankly. If the Joker is telling the truth, which he probably isn’t, then what could have happened that night?

“Well with that squared away, it’s my turn for questions.” he gleamed. Bruce sat back in his chair trying to relax.

“I’m listening.”

“Are you gay?” he asked. Bruce nearly fell right out of his seat.

“What?” he stuttered.

“Do you like men or women? A very simple question.”

“Why is that important?” he yelled. He rubbed his temples and sighed loudly.

“I’m gay. Happy?” he snapped at the Joker

“Very. I guess the two of us aren't too different after all. I am too.” he said with a matter of fact tone.

“What’s your next question?” he asked impatiently. He was going to be here all night.

“Do you like tattoos?” he asked, “I have this faint memory of getting his tattoo with someone.” Bruce just wanted to leave the room. This was so annoying.

“I don’t mind them. Make finding people much easier to find.”

“Of course you only think of that. Life is not all finding people and beating them into a bloody pulp,” he said.

“Pot meet kettle.”

“Very funny, Batsy. Just tell me what you think of this,” he said before unbuttoning his shirt to reveal the black and red ink underneath. Bruce nearly puked at the sight of it.

A king of hearts tattoo. He put his hand on his chest, touch where his king of spades tattoo is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shit is about the hit the fucking fan


	6. One Big Mistake

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning:  
> This chapter has homophobic language.

Jack looked at the shattered mirror in front of him. His fingers dripping with blood and stinging from the glass. He stared directly at his reflection. He could see the fresh ink on his chest swell and glow brighter. How could they do this to him? How dare they fire him for who he is! Fire him for being him, for once. He gripped the sink tightly, trying to hold in what tears he hadn’t cried yet. Jack had these things planned: one month of mania, 10 months of normalcy, and one month of his current depressive state. It wasn’t even close to an accurate plan and of course, it never happened in the way he wished, but it made him feel like he had more control over it.

He snatched the bottle of pills off the counter. He undid the child safety lock and turned the bottle upside down to dump out whatever pills might have been inside. Nothing. Jacks eyes widened, frantically looking for another bottle. Nothing. He threw the bottle at the wall before marching off to his bedroom. He slammed the door behind him and collapsed on his bed, sobbing into his sheets.

No job, no medical insurance to pay for his meds. No job, no way to support himself without relying on Bruce to help him, and there was no way he was going to ask him for money. He loved Bruce so much, and he didn’t want to ask him for money. He got up from the bed and grabbed the catalog from the nightstand. In big bold letters read “Wedding Rings and Bands: Real Diamonds and Gems!”

Jack flipped to the folded page and stared at the highlighted section. A black onyx ring, $6,000. It was just too perfect to pass up. He needed the money. He looked outside his bedroom window at the small city street below. The rusty pipes and stray cats roaming the streets was an everyday occurrence. It was peaceful in the day time.

Jacks eyes turned to the alleyway below him. Two men were quietly talking next to a black car. He peered down on them to get a better look. A small bag of white powder was in the pocket one of the men. He was about to turn away and forget them until he got a idea. An idea that was insane. He grabbed a large bundle of cash before bolting down the stairs.

Jack ran out the front door of the building, then turning the corner to the alley where the men still stand. He took a deep breath and took a step forward.

“Excuse me” he announces to the men. They turned toward him drawing their guns on him. Jack gulped loudly.

“I…want to buy what you have,” he said, voice quivering. The men stared at him for a minute, then put their guns away.

“How much do you want?”

“Enough to get me through a day,” Jack stated, unfolding his wad of cash. They eyed him up before taking the cash and giving him a small bag.

“Now get lost, fag” the man snapped.  
Jack was about the walk away, until he heard the the start up of the conversation between the two men.

“We need someone who knows their way around the plant. Lex is gonna pay big bucks for just a bucket of his stuff,” he whispered

“What’s the name of the plant?”

“The Gotham City Chemical Plant” he resumed.

Jack bit his lip and turned around back to them. He thought of the money they would be able to pay him. The ring.

“Hey, I used to work at that plant. If you need someone to get you inside and show you around, I can do it.” Jack offered. The men looked at each other and then back to Jack.

“You better not be lying to us, you little twink!” he spat at Jack, flashing his gun at him.

“I have proof,” he said, pulling out the old work ID he still had in his pocket. He handed them his ID and waited.

They examined it closely and tossed it back. They smiled and reached into the car to pull out a giant red pill looking mask.

“Tomorrow night, you’ll wear this, and guide us through the plant,” he said smiling widely.

“What is that?”

“The red hood. Contrary to what most people come to think about the criminals of this town, there are multiple red hoods in this city. You’re about to be the next nights red hood. Ready to take up the challenge?” he asked suspiciously.

Was he? He didn’t think he would do this sort of thing. Ever. He kept thinking of Bruce. He would do anything for him, and anything included breaking into the building of his old job.

“Yes”

“Good, meet us behind the building at 12:00. Don’t be late...oh yes, dress nicely.”

Jack nodded and began walking back to his apartment. His stomach turned and he felt dizzy. This might have been a mistake.

~

  
The Joker buttoned up his shirt slowly. He knew his tattoo made Batman think. Deep inside, he knew these memories related to Batman in a way. It was just a feeling, but it was too strong to be ignored. The man he kept seeing must mean something to him. He looked back up to Batman, with his hand on his chest. He giggled quietly.

“Heartburn?” he asked before bursting out laughing. He knew his laughter annoyed him to the point of bursting, that's why he loved to do it.

Batman grumbled and folded his hands together. The Joker was attracted to him, in a way. He was a build he really liked and from what he actually saw of his face, he was pretty handsome. Unbuttoning his shirt and showing him his chest gave him an odd rush. He still beat him until he broke ribs and his leg snapped backward, but that made it all the better.

He knew Batman could only take so much of him, he could tell by his constant lip biting and the bulging vein on his neck. Just a few questions and maybe he’ll figure out who the hell this man is.


	7. Call me Joker

Bruce knew it was time. Two years he’s been with Jack, and not a second went by where he wasn’t absolutely in love with him. He needed to know who else he was. They’ve done so much and been through so much together. Bruce opened up about his parents and Jack comforted and supported him, he and Jack got tattoos together, and Jack came out to his remaining family. He needed to know he was Batman. Tonight is the night.

Bruce needed to clear his head and get some fresh air. He walked out to the balcony and looked over the city in the distance. From where he was, the city was just a city. Not a hellhole crawling with countless criminals, underground thugs, and straight up killers. It was so quiet.

He needed to get Jack out of there. He deserved better than a run-down apartment on another deadly city street. He deserved a whole goddamn kingdom. Bruce knew he couldn’t give him that, but he planned to give him something that would mean the world to Bruce if he accepted.

He took a deep breath and reached into his pocket and pulled out a small black box. He pulled out the small silver band and rolled it around his hand. If he could, Bruce would wrap up the world and give it to Jack with a giant red bow. And if he didn’t accept him as Batman, he would hang up the suit forever just to have him.

He put the ring back in the box and walked back inside. Bruce examined his suit and sighed. It was time.

~

Jack’s cab was far from enjoyable. His teeth were chattering and he swore he could feel his bones shake under his skin. Damn coke. He hasn’t felt like this in years. The shock wave of energy and never-ending euphoria. He looked out the window. After tonight, he’ll never touch that stuff again. He failed to keep that promise the first time, but he needed to stay clean. What would Bruce think if he found out? Jack pushed that thought aside and focused on the road ahead. He was doing this all for Bruce and nothing was going to change his mind.

The cab dropped him off at the street next to the plant. He walked over to the spot they were meant to meet. Both men he met in the alley were there, plus plenty of others. Jack guessed they were the goons.

“So, you did show up. Wasn’t sure if you had the guts,” one of the men said. Jack nodded and took a step forward.

“Do you have the hood?”

“Right here,” the man said, pulling the hood out of a black bag. “Put it on,”

Jack took the mask out of his hand and put it over his head. He could barely see, it was very awkward on his small head, and the smell was so nasty it could gag a maggot.

“Ready?”

“Ready.”

~

Bruce ran across the rooftops of Gotham looking for Jack’s building. It was hard to see at night. Before jumping to the next roof, he saw a small group of thugs in front of the chemical plant. He’ll stop them, then go meet Jack. He turned to the direction of the thugs and ran. As he got closer, he saw a man in a white dress shirt and red mask. Red-Hood. This was too perfect. He sprinted toward the plant with the plan to take them all in, then leave. This night was going to be busy.

~

Jack and the thugs ran through the plant, searching for the chemical batch they wanted. Room by room and they found nothing. Where the hell was it? The men looked like they were getting antsy and ready to attack him. Jack felt like he was about to faint until he found the room with the chemical batch they needed.

“Here it is!” he shouted. One of the larger men broke the glass of the door and unlocked it. They all ran through the door and were greeted by a massive pool of toxic chemicals below them.

They all started to walk toward the container until they heard a massive crash. They all looked up to see someone jumping through the glass ceiling. Jack couldn’t make any faces out in his mask.

“Oh fuck! It’s Batman!” he heard one of them yell. He began to feel sick to his stomach. This was bad!

They all started running in random directions. He was panicking and had nowhere to run. Batman’s eyes turned toward him and he charged at him.

“Please don’t hurt me! I’m not the red-hood!” he screamed through his mask. Batman still charged.

Jack managed to duck a swing and ran in the opposite direction. Batman sprinted toward him and landed a punch to the head. He grabbed the railing and begged for his life. He started sobbing in his hot mask. Batman put his hands on his shoulders and shook him.

Clink...Clink...CLANK

The bar fell to the ground and Jack fell backward. He didn’t feel the burn at first, only his loss of breath and the mask filling up with a bubbling liquid. Then it fully sank in...he never felt anything like this before. He swore his flesh was melting off his body. His teeth gnashed and he wanted to claw at his skin. He felt like he was moving fast down a long pipe now. He could finally breathe. Coughing, he threw the mask off and crawled away from the now puddling liquid.

He stood up, legs shaking, and started walking to the small puddle of water nearby. He looked down at himself. His skin was white and his hair was green. He couldn’t escape this now, everyone would know it was him, even Bruce. Everything he had, is now gone. He felt a smile stretch across his face. He gripped his hair and let his tears flow out.

“Ha...ha...Ha...he...HA HA HA HA HA!”

~

Bruce was slightly disappointed he didn’t catch red-hood, but he did round up everyone else. The damn police took so damn long. But, it was worth it. He was about to do it. Bruce was at Jack’s door and his heart was pounding he was worried the neighbors would hear it. He took a long breath before opening the door. His jaw dropped at the sight.

The couch was soaked in thick blood, the small coffee table was covered in cocaine , and a skinny man was in the middle of the room, laughing like it was the end of the world.

“Jack?” he asked, hoping this was just a bad joke. The man turned around. He was horrific. White skin, green hair, and blood leaking from the carved smile in his cheeks.

“Who’s that, your boyfriend? Looks from the scene that he’s long gone.” the man chuckled. Bruce’s blood boiled in his veins. He couldn’t think, he couldn’t speak, he could only run toward him.

Bruce tackled him and wrapped his fingers around his throat, trying to squeeze the life from him. All he did, was laugh. Bruce picked him up and threw him out the bedroom window, jumping out after him. He stepped on his arm hard hearing a loud snap.

“Is that all you got?” he screamed at Bruce. Bruce kicked him over and over until he saw the red and blue lights. He looked back down at the man, still laughing at him. His giggles died down and he looked at him dead in the eye.

“Call me Joker”

~

“It’s my turn for a question Joker, do you even know who you used to be?”  
The Joker’s smile fell, and he looked down.

“Sometimes I do, it comes in bursts, like now,” he answered. Batman looked down and wiped his mouth.

“I guess we are done here for tonight,” Batman said, standing up and walking to the door.

“I’ll see you soon.”


	8. You Were Perfect

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Smut in this one!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For my first work, it definitely could have been a lot worse! I hope you liked it! -Poet

Bruce stood in the middle of the room that once brought him so much joy, and now so much sorrow. This apartment looked so much smaller than what he thought it was. He could barely see straight now.

Everything he thought about him and the Joker had all been one massive lie. What happened to him? What happened to Jack? He dusted off the bed before sitting down on the side. He’ll never be able to get over this.

He had many memories in this old bed. Pillow forts, reading silently, and other things that brought a blush to Bruces face. What he missed the most was just holding Jack in his arms while they slept through the night.

The way his smooth skin glowed in the moonlight from the window and his soft curls covering his sleeping eyes. Bruce swore he could feel it on his fingertips if he focused hard enough. He closed his eyes trying to imagine it again.

 _Creek_...

Bruce turned around quickly to see where the sound came from. The room was too dark to see a legible face. He knew who it was though. The Joker walked over and sat on the opposite side of the bed. Bruce sighed and took off his mask. The room was pitch black, the Joker couldn’t see his face even if he wanted to.

“Bat-” the Joker tried to say before Bruce interrupted him with a kiss. This kiss wasn’t anything like what he did back at the station. This was angry and filled with pain and hurt. He kissed back.

Bruce balled up his hair and shoved him down on the bed. Bruce shoved his tounge in the Jokers mouth, and the Joker began to unbuckle and slide off his pants, tossing them to the side.

Bruce placed his hand on Joker’s bulge and rubbed it, feeling it twitch and grow with each movement. The Joker ran his fingers through Bruce’s hair and moaned in his ear.

Bruce couldn’t take it anymore, he ripped off his own pants and and grabbed his utility belt to get the lube he keeps for...reasons. He squeezed out enough for both his fingers and himself. He rubbed his fingers together and leaned in close to Joker’s ear.

”Are you ready?” he asked, growling and nearly panting with anticipation.

”Just shut up and fuck me. I can’t take it anymore.” He whined. Bruce obliged, and stuck his fingers inside him.

The Joker moaned and immediately thrusted back on Bruce’s fingers. He hasn’t had sex in a long while, so he already felt like he was about to burst. 

Bruce pulled out his fingers, which received a small whine from the Joker. He leveled his cock, and slowly inserted the tip.

”F-fucking finally,” the Joker moaned, hiding his face. 

Bruce slowly began thrusting, trying to build tension. With each slow thrust, he felt the Joker squirm more under him.

”I’m not you’re fucking l-lover! I don’t want to ‘make love’, I want to fuck! Can you even understa-“ he tried to say before being cut off by a hard thrust. He had to cover his mouth to control his moans.

”Shut.The.Fuck.Up.” Bruce growled, thrusting harder and faster. 

They both were at their limit, they couldn’t take anymore. Bruce grabbed the Joker’s dick and began stroking it. The Joker pulled at Bruce’s hair, and came on both of their stomachs. The Joker tightened around Bruce’s and pushed him over the edge. 

Bruce screamed out before finishing.

”Jack!”

~

“What happened to you, Jack?”

“Bats, I will only say this once, Jack isn’t here. The man you once knew and loved is long gone. I won’t ever be like him again. I… want to be him again, but I have no idea what he was like. I only have brief memories that come and go. I don’t know what his hobbies were, what his favorite food is, I don’t even know what his name is half the time.” The Joker whimpered. He was holding back his sobs. Bruce looked down, holding back tears of his own.

“This isn’t fixable, is it?” Bruce asked, tears starting to fall out.

“No, it’s not.” The Joker said, frankly. “Do you think we can do this more? Coming back here, when it’s dark. So we can just talk and do...other stuff?”

Bruce thought about it for a moment. For years he thought Jack was dead, and now he’s almost here. How could he refuse this. He finally had the love of his life back, but now his love has no idea of their past, or who he even his.

Jack is gone and he knew it, but he really doesn’t care anymore, he needed this.

“Yeah, we should do this more,” he replied mournfully.

The Joker stood and moved over to the other side of the room to Bruce. He put his hands on the sides of his face and kissed him softly. He could feel the tears wet his hands. Bruce put his hands on top of the Joker’s and squeezed them lightly.

He brought him in for an embrace, squeezing him so tight, fearing he would disappear again. He felt the Joker’s face dig into his chest. The Joker looked up at Bruce and silently sobbed.

“Bats, do you remember the man I used to be?”  
Bruce didn’t even need to think about his answer.

“Yes”

  
“Was I a good man?”

  
“You were perfect”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone has any ideas for what I should write next, let me know! Because I have no frick fracking clue! Thank you for taking time to read my stuff! -Poet

**Author's Note:**

> C’ya soon!


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